Lance Armstrong documentary gets off to quite the start

Serial doper Lance Armstrong admits some fans will always be “p—d” with him for his Tour de France cheating.

In “Lance,” the ESPN documentary released Sunday, the disgraced Texan cyclist flaunted the middle finger in the opening scene and recounted an X-rated story when he was approached outside a bar after being stripped of his seven Tour titles for taking performance-enhancing drugs.

“When my life took the turn that it took, I said to myself, everywhere that I go for the rest of my life, somebody’s going to walk up to me and say ‘f— you,’” the 48-year-old Armstrong said. “So a couple of days go by and nobody said ‘f—k you.’ Then months go by. And years ago by. I always know when somebody wants to say it. But nobody does. So, it took five years…

“I was staying in this rental house. I called an Uber. He pulls up on the street right in front of the bar. We cross the street and this guy stands up and shouts, ‘Hey, Lance.’ “I’m like, ‘What’s up man?’ He goes, ‘F—k you! F—k  you!’

“The next thing you know, he’s with six or seven people and they all stand up and start going, ‘F—k you! You f—king  cheater.’ My friend said, ‘Get in the car right now.’ She’s thinking I’m about to walk over there and punch the s—t out of this guy. Which would have obviously been a bad idea.

“I’d have done that most of my life. I was shocked and mad. I have to do something. Me, Lance Armstrong, doesn’t let s—t like that happen. I called the bar. Here’s my credit card number. Whatever they are eating, whatever they are drinking, I don’t care how expensive — it’s on me. Under one condition. You have to say, ‘Guys, Lance took care of everything. And he sends his love.’

“Some people are p—d still, and they will be p—d forever,” Armstrong said.